After Dinner Speech
by moon71
Summary: A little follow on to “The Scene in the Sushi Bar.” So how did Shuichi get on at Mizuki’s party? What songs did he sing? What conclusion, if any, did Eiri finally reach about their relationship? And what happened to the sushi bar scene?
1. Chapter 1

**AFTER DINNER SPEECH by Moon71**

**SUMMARY: **A little follow on to "The Scene in the Sushi Bar." So how did Shuichi get on at Mizuki's party? What songs did he sing? What conclusion, if any, did Eiri finally reach about their relationship? And what happened to the sushi bar scene?

**TIMELINE: **Same as "The Scene in the Sushi Bar."

**RATING: **K – T brief mentions of sexy stuff

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't take credit for Gravitation, or for the behaviour of my OCs.

**NOTES: **Yes, it's finally here! I just had to make some last minute alterations. Originally I planned "The scene in the sushi bar" to end exactly where it did. As far as I was concerned, there couldn't be a "conclusion" because this was set midway through Eiri and Shuichi's relationship and I could hardly have Eiri declare is undying love and fidelity at that point! But when I got so many encouraging reviews I did think it would be nice to show Shuichi at the party and how others react to both him and Eiri and this extra story began to take I want to thank everyone who took time to review and make such encouraging comments.

**SUSHI NOTE: **One reviewer pointed out it might be better not to know what the sushi bar scene was really about – a bit like Waiting for Godot, it should remain abstract. That was the plan I had in mind for it; it was a symbol of something Eiri wanted, and, as he finally realised, something only Shuichi could give him. But when this little follow on story appeared in my head, I began to see a parallel between Eiri's characters and his relationship with Shuichi, and I thought I might as well reveal the plot that had been in the back of my mind. I'm sorry if this ruins it for anyone – if so, please skip over Eiri's explanation!!!

**AND LAST OF ALL – HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY READERS!!! GOD BLESS!!!**

* * *

It felt like a dream. After the way the evening had begun, he was almost certain it had to be. He was at Mizuki's party – the party he had begged and pleaded to attend. Not only that, but Yuki Eiri – that same Yuki Eiri who had definitively refused to take him – had decided to take him after all, just after Shuichi had just finished declaring to Hiro that his lover would never, _never _take him anywhere, let alone treat him like a real boyfriend.

And now he was going to sing in front of Mizuki's guests!

For Shuichi it became a valuable lesson in self control. It was so hard not to get swept away by the sheer joy of the moment, but he was determined not to do anything stupid or impulsive which might embarrass Yuki and make him angry and maybe cut this evening short.

The very intimacy of the setting made it overwhelming. He had performed before crowds and on television, but this was so _intense. _At least twenty pairs of eyes were fixed upon him expectantly; faces so close he could easily read their expressions – some of which suggested extreme scepticism - and only Hiro's acoustic guitar to support him. At first he had been sick with nerves. Now he was dizzy with a strange sense of power.

He had sung a simplified version of the _Rage Beat, _followed by several of his other songs along with Nittle Grasper's _Be there _and _Sleepless Beauty _which made Nakamura Junichi clap his hands in delight.

At the beginning Shuichi focused on the young mangaka as much as he could, instantly recognising a kindred spirit and drawing reassurance from that. If he hadn't had Junichi he would have ended up staring fixedly at Hiro or at the floor. He couldn't meet the eyes of the women, whose gazes varied from motherly to coy to downright suggestive. Unlike Hiro, who returned their smiles with a friendly grin, Shuichi had never really known how to respond to interest from the opposite sex.

The men's stares were less personal and more peaceable, but with the exception of Junichi they were all a lot older than him and the thought that they were all writers or editors or publishers, probably as brainy as Yuki and just as judgemental, frightened him off. Looking at Mizuki's pretty impish face only made Shuichi giggle and blush like a schoolgirl and he dared not let his gaze linger on Yuki.

After the first couple of songs, followed by another of those creamy mint grasshopper things, Shuichi began to warm to his audience. The women giggled at whatever he said and the men, though indeed clever and cultured, were generous in their attitude to him. He managed the required party small-talk without saying anything too inane and when he got into difficulties Mizuki was somehow always there at his elbow, guiding him back onto solid ground.

When Mizuki's guests clamoured for more music, Shuichi completely forgot his nerves. He was doing one of the few things he knew he was good at – entertaining a crowd. When he began to sing _Blind Game Again, _the song they were supposed to be releasing next, he even began to dance as if he was on stage. To his delight, Hiro began to sing along with him – his friend never usually sang except when the two of them were alone, not having much confidence in his vocals compared to Shuichi's, but though his voice wasn't strong it was a pleasant baritone which complimented Shuichi's tenor.

Shuichi was almost completely in his element – laughing, joking, even lightly flirting – when he finally risked a glance at Yuki and saw his lover staring back at him with a strange, unreadable expression. He didn't respond to Shuichi's quick smile and it gradually became apparent that Yuki was not so much staring _at _him as _through_ him, as if he was lost in thought. A moment later Shuichi saw the writer slip quietly away onto the patio.

Though he finished his song, Shuichi could not ignore the sudden tightening in his chest and his gut. Frustration and disappointment mixed with anger. _Now _what had he done wrong? Was Yuki mad at him? _Why? _He had thought he had been doing everything right – he hadn't said anything stupid; he hadn't tried to touch Yuki; he hadn't even made a scene when he had noticed some of the female guests coming on to his boyfriend _and_ he hadn't got senselessly drunk.

Then again, perhaps it was nothing to do with Shuichi himself and something else had gone wrong.

Something to do with that sushi bar thing, perhaps…?

As soon as he could, Shuichi made his excuses and followed Yuki out into the garden.

Outside, he took a deep breath and looked about him. The patio was illuminated by a series of beautiful paper lanterns and the summer night air had a cool, sweet scent. Entranced, he leaned down to inspect a pot of trumpet shaped flowers which seemed to glow with a greenish-white light of their own, realising it was from them that the fragrance emanated.

"Tobacco plants." Yuki's voice was distant, yet when Shuichi glanced up he found him standing close by. "Ironic, when you think about it." He raised his cigarette to his lips.

Shuichi watched him wordlessly. The gentle light softened Yuki's strong, handsome features, giving them a tender, almost vulnerable quality Shuichi had only ever noticed before in the early hours of the morning, when Yuki was sleeping beside him. It made his heart squeeze with desire but he held himself back.

"Are you okay, Yuki?" Shuichi asked. "I mean… is something wrong? Is it to do with the sushi bar scene?" When Yuki stared at him he quickly went on, "I heard you and Mizuki-san arguing about it while we were singing…"

"We weren't arguing," Yuki grunted, "we were negotiating."

"Well whatever it was, I heard my name mentioned and you pointed at me once or twice. And when Mizuki gave me a second cocktail she told me to drink the health of the sushi bar scene. It's to do with your latest novel, isn't it? What's the story about? Is it set in a sushi bar? Oh come on, Yuki," he cried indignantly as he saw the familiar, impatient scowl settling on Yuki's face, "if I've _finally_ done something to make you happy you could at least tell me _what!"_

Yuki blinked at him, apparently genuinely taken aback. Something gentle touched those golden eyes; Shuichi could not help a soft gasp as Yuki reached and briefly stroked his cheek.

Then he turned and sat down on a nearby bench. "The book isn't set in a sushi bar, it just has one scene set there." The writer seemed to think deeply for a moment, not even noticing when Shuichi came to sit by his side. "It's about two wealthy families who want to form a marriage alliance. It's arranged for the eldest son of one family to marry the only daughter of the other. The trouble is the "bride-to-be" is already in love with her fiancée's younger brother."

"So the two brothers are in love with the same girl?" Shuichi asked, thinking a little uncomfortably of himself and Usami Ayaka.

Yuki shook his head. "The elder brother isn't in love with anyone. All that matters to him is family honour. That's one of the main themes of the story," he added meditatively, "love versus honour – duty versus free will – tradition versus modernity." He drew on his cigarette and slowly exhaled. "The younger brother and his love plan to elope, but a servant overhears them talking and warns the elder brother. He's determined there will be no such dishonour brought upon his family and so he hatches a plan. That's where the sushi bar scene comes in.

"He takes his brother out for a meal. Each dish the two of them choose is supposed to symbolise something – aspects of their personalities or their changing feelings – sweet, sour, sharp, bitter, whatever. The same dish or the same sauce tastes different to each brother. Even the wine they drink - to the elder brother it tastes of sweet victory; to the younger it tastes of the years of bitter disappointment to come.

"The elder brother tells the younger he'll speak for him at the wedding before the two families and ask them to accept the younger brother instead."

"And the younger brother believes him?" Shuichi burst out without thinking, "man, he must be thick! No – no – " he drew back as Yuki turned to look at him. "I mean – "

But Yuki only smiled sardonically. "He's not stupid. He just loves his elder brother so much that he thinks him as perfect as a god and he can't imagine he'd betray him. So anyway," he added with a deep sigh, crushing out his cigarette on the stone bench, "the wedding day comes. The bride is nervous but her lover has told her to trust him and so she does. But when the time comes, of course, the elder brother doesn't speak up. The younger brother is so shocked he doesn't think to protest, and the wedding goes ahead."

"That's terrible, Yuki!" Shuichi cried helplessly. He didn't mean to keep interrupting – this had to be the longest conversation he had had with Yuki that wasn't an argument and didn't involve him babbling and Yuki grunting monosyllabically. It was certainly the most intellectual conversation they had ever shared. Even so he felt he was walking a tightrope – the experience was stimulating, even exhilarating, but one wrong step and he would fall off, and after that who knew when another opportunity would come? "Maiko always said your books had tragic endings, but I didn't realise they were _that_ sad!"

Yuki's response was remarkably clement. Shuichi had never seen him quite like this – so relaxed, so confident in talking about something he really understood and cared about. "That isn't the end," he explained, "that's only the beginning. The sushi bar scene is a sort of prologue. Only a year after his wedding, the elder brother is killed in a car crash. As the alliance is still wanted by both families it's suggested that the younger brother marries the widow."

Shuichi blinked and sat up straight. "Wow! A happy ending? From Yuki Eiri?" he couldn't resist giving the other man a playful little nudge.

Yuki actually gave a natural smile then, though he turned his head away before Shuichi could see if it formed into a grin. "Not exactly. The girl believed her lover tricked and betrayed her, so whenever she saw him she acted as though she'd fallen in love with her husband. The younger brother believed in her act and convinced himself she'd never really loved him. So now that they've got what they had wanted most, they can't be happy. The elder brother dies at the beginning of the story but really he's always there between them, as though he's still alive."

Shuichi exhaled softly. He almost asked how the story ended, but then he began to wonder if he really wanted to know. Though he'd never been a bookworm like Hiro, he had often been tempted to read one of his beloved Yuki's novels in the hope they could have a conversation just like this one. And yet he had never done it. Yuki's apparently gloomy view of romantic love wasn't exactly heartening for one who was still, underneath it all, far from sure that his lover loved him back.

Even so, he reflected with lighter spirits, this was still a special moment between them and a new view of the man he adored. Yuki had an amazing imagination – when he was so quiet, so far away, was this the world he was living in? If so, it must surely mean something that he was allowing Shuichi a small share of it.

From inside Mizuki's flat he could hear the sound of voices and classical Japanese music. He supposed he should go back inside – it was a wonder Yuki hadn't already complained about the suggestiveness of him following him out.

But then Yuki resumed speaking. "The point is, the Chief Editor wanted to cut the sushi bar scene down to "they ate sushi and the elder brother outlined his plan." Now Mizuki's going to make sure the scene's left in uncut."

Shuichi glanced at him in surprise. "And that's because of me?"

"Don't let it go to your head," Yuki muttered, taking another cigarette from the packet he was holding.

Watching as he tapped the cigarette against the box and raised it to his lips, Shuichi sighed. "I… I'm sorry, Yuki…"

The writer took the cigarette from his mouth and frowned at Shuichi. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Shuichi bent his head. Yuki would think he was an idiot, but he had to say it. "I… told Hiro you were ashamed of me, but I guess I was wrong… tonight's been really great, hasn't it?"

Yuki stared at him so hard he felt his cheeks growing hot. Before he knew what was happening, his lover had taken him in his arms. Yuki's mouth was upon his before he could protest; the kiss was hot and sweet with the taste of the fruit punch Yuki had been sticking to most of the night, and for Shuichi it was every bit as intoxicating as Mizuki's cocktails. Any urge he had to pull away, fearful of being caught by the other guests, quickly melted away.

"Yuki-san…?" Mizuki's musical tones finally forced them apart, though Yuki's arm lingered around Shuichi's waist, concealed by the evening shadows. "The guests are starting to leave, but they're asking if Shindou-san will sing one more song. Is he there with you?"

Shuichi stayed quite still, willing even to hide under the bench until Yuki had gone in, but Yuki simply called back "yeah, he's here," and drew him to his feet. "Come on, songbird, it's time to pay the last of your rent."

* * *

It wasn't until they had disappeared indoors that Ono Fujiko allowed herself a small squeal of delight, kicking her legs and hugging her sketchbook to her chest. It was almost too much to bear – a _shonen-ai_ mangaka's heaven on earth. Two beautiful young men locked in the most uncompromisingly passionate embrace!

She hadn't meant to eavesdrop on them – she had in fact been out in the garden before Yuki Eiri. Young Shindou-kun's music had been charming, but the artist's muse had awoken in her the moment that _delectable _Nakano-kun had entered Mizuki's flat and she could not help slipping away to sketch her first impressions of the guitarist. It always amused her when people assumed she wore a kimono on social occasions out of tradition – they didn't know about the small sketchbook she carried tucked under her obi or the ink pen she always stuck through her traditionally arranged hair. She never went far without either – one simply never knew when the right face, the right scene – or even just the right expression might suddenly manifest itself.

Nakano would be just _perfect_ for her latest _seme. _For a long time she had wanted to break away from the stifling conventions of the boy-love genre – loud, aggressive, dominating _seme_ versus girlish, constantly protesting _uke_ - and have a _seme_ who was gentle, mild, even reticent when it came to love, to combine with her more spirited, proactive new _uke._

Now all she could think of was violent, fraught, passionate romance between an innocent and beautiful youth and a hard, embittered but dangerously handsome man who fought hard to deny their attraction to one another. It was too much – a gift from the gods, dropped right into her lap!

Of course there would have to be heavy alterations when she finally created the finished product – changes in hair and eye colour and general appearance, though she liked the idea of the younger one being a singer, she would have to be careful. Maybe she could keep the musical theme, but take it from a slightly different angle.

Fujiko allowed herself a wicked little grin as she sipped the tequila sunrise she had brought out with her, savouring the bittersweet flavour. Yuki Eiri! Smitten by the charms of a boy! Who would have _thought _it!

On the other hand she had always had her doubts about that one. The womanising, the macho attitude, the flash cars… it all suggested some sort of overcompensation, and if it wasn't for the size or quality of the family jewels, it just might be a few nagging doubts about his own preferences…

Briefly she teased herself with the idea of blackmail – Yuki Eiri modelling in return for her silence. It might even be worth "outing" him just to wipe the superior look off his face. But of course she wouldn't – she really wasn't that much of a bitch, and besides, knowing the kind of women who lapped up his dreary, overwrought novels, it would probably only double his sales overnight. Still, it would make another good plot… she'd have to make a note of that one too…

And in an odd sort of way, watching that kiss, and the little tryst which had preceded it, Fujiko had felt her heart soften towards the romance novelist. She had never been a great fan of his type. God's gift to women, those ones always thought themselves and didn't seem to think they needed to practice the same manners as everyone else. But there had been tenderness in the way he had kissed that dear little Shindou-kun as well as lust, and he hadn't pushed him aside when Mizuki Kanna came looking for them.

Fujiko sighed as she took another sip of her cocktail and looked down at the quick sketch she had made of the embracing lovers. For a moment she toyed with her pencil, but then she put it down. It sounded as though the other guests were leaving and after all, she'd end up ruining her eyes if she kept working in such poor light…

**TBC: **Sato Shiho makes a shocking declaration to her fiancée, Hiro meditates on unrequited love and Eiri tells Shuichi how it ends…


	2. Chapter 2

**AFTER DINNER SPEECH by Moon71**

**PART 2:** After the party, Sato Shiho makes a shocking revelation to her scandalised fiancée… and Eiri tells Shuichi how it's going to end…

**NOTE:** Thank you to all those who have taken time to review on FFnet, Gurabite and LJ. There will be more stories coming in the new year, but for now, let me wish each and every one of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009!!!

Just a quickie – thank you for the supportive comments about Fujiko! I am always nervous about OCs, especially female ones because the last thing I'd want to be accused of is Mary-Sueism! She's partly a parody of a boylove mangaka and partly a parody of all of us (that is to say, those of us who start squealing at the sight of two boys kissing in an anime and feel the need to write fanfics about it!!!! Ahhh… I can still remember the day I saw that kiss in the lift for the first time, and thought – "blimey, they actually DID it! Two blokes just kissed in a cartoon!")

* * *

Sato Shiho unwound her obi with a deep sigh of relief. "Thank God for that," she cried as she shed her kimono, "sometimes wearing that thing makes me feel like I'm being squeezed by a sumo wrestler all night…"

"Enough of your adulterous fantasies," her fiancée joked cheerfully as he loosened his tie. "Anyway, you look real cute in it!"

"I'm sure I'd look good in a corset, but it doesn't mean I'd like to wear one…"

Junichi grinned. "Not even for me…? Besides, it's all your own fault for dressing up like one of your own characters!"

Shiho snorted. "At least I don't dress like an extra from a Yakuza film!"

"I like black," Junichi answered patiently, hanging up his suit with loving care, "colours are distracting!"

"A strange attitude for a visual artist…" Slipping on a gown and untying her long hair, Shiho turned to smile at her companion. "So… did you enjoy the party, Ju-chan?"

Junichi smiled back at her in that open, amiable way she had come to love. She knew some people laughed at them – some even sneered and called her a cradle snatcher, though she wasn't all _that _much older than he was. And she couldn't totally blame them – even without the age gap they made a rather unlikely couple. When they had unexpectedly clicked at their first meeting, she had looked forward to nothing more substantial than a brief affair – and now look at them! Sometimes it still felt like a particularly pleasant dream from which she must inevitably wake.

And yet, at other times it felt as though she had been waiting for Nakamura Junichi all of her life.

"It was brilliant," Junichi declared with bright eyes, "all of it! I was kind of dreading it, you know, though I like Mizuki-san – I mean, we both know why they bothered to throw the thing in the first place, so I thought it'd be really embarrassing, but it was totally cool!"

Shiho felt her heart flutter with joy as observed his guileless honesty. _Silly old cow, _she scolded herself, _acting like a lovesick teenager…_

But it was so _good _to be with a man who didn't waste time affecting an air of worldliness! Her ironic wit, her successful career – and, of course, her lack of stunning good looks – tended to put off young men like him. Her previous lovers had all been older than her, with a tendency to smug cynicism – rather like Yuki Eiri, she reflected with a wry smile, though she doubted she'd ever been on _his _list of potential conquests.

"Actually it feels a bit like a dream," Junichi was saying, "I mean – fancy Yuki Eiri knowing Shindou Shuichi and helping Bad Luck!"

"He's changed," Shiho noted thoughtfully. "Yuki, I mean. I can't say I've ever cared for him much… I mean his writing is superb, I can't argue with that, but his miserably unhappy endings get a bit predictable. I mean, not _everyone_ is a two-faced backstabber, horrible things _don't_ always happen to nice people and not all love affairs end in disappointment! But tonight he seemed – _different. _Kanna was hinting a few weeks ago that he might actually have actually found… you know… that special _someone…_ and in fact…" Shiho grinned slyly at Junichi, "I think I have an idea who it is!"

Junichi chuckled indulgently as he moved across and slipped his arms about her waist. Though she felt a fool, she still felt a small shudder of excitement whenever he touched her. "Yeah, sure, Shiho-chan," he smirked, "and who might that be?"

Shiho thrust her head back triumphantly. "Shindou Shuichi!"

"_Shiho!"_ Junichi spluttered indignantly, releasing her and scowling down at her with flashing black eyes, for all the world as if she'd named Yuki's true love as Junichi's own mother.

"Oh come on, Ju-chan," she countered, "even you must have seem the way he kept staring at the boy whenever he thought we were all too busy listening to the music…"

"We were _all_ staring at Shuichi-kun! We were watching him _sing!"_

"But even when they weren't performing Yuki kept stealing little glances," Shiho continued eagerly, warming to her subject, "and I'm beginning to wonder if that's _all_ he's been stealing! I don't really buy that story about helping Shindou-kun with his lyrics – I wonder if they're having an affair…!"

"Shiho, you _have_ to be pissed," Junichi scoffed, "I told you to stay off the bucks fizz, it goes straight to your head! Shuichi-kun is _not _gay!"

"I think you're in denial, darling…"

"And I think _you've_ been spending too much time with that Ono Fujiko and her weird friends! They think every man in Tokyo is potentially gay!"

"I didn't say Shindou-kun was necessarily gay… only that Yuki Eiri might be…"

"But he has loads and loads of girlfriends!"

"That doesn't mean anything! At any rate, _gay _might be too strong a word… it could be… you know… an infatuation… maybe Shindou-kun doesn't even know about it… and thinks Yuki's only helping him out of the goodness of his heart…"

Junichi seemed about to object once again when his eyes suddenly met hers and they connected just as smoothly and effortlessly as they had that precious afternoon in the reference library. "Unrequited gay love…?" the mangaka murmured doubtfully.

"Two handsome young men?" the novelist took up the thought like a relay runner taking the baton from her team-mate. "One hopelessly in love with the other but totally unable to admit it? Do you think it would fit in?"

Junichi frowned. "I don't know, Shiho-chan… my readers probably wouldn't go for it…"

"Oh come on Ju-chan, who cares about _that?_ You're starting to sound like Kanna! Anyway, remember we're aiming this at _my_ readers too… and they just might love it!"

"Shit," Junichi muttered and then fell into a pensive silence. Sighing sympathetically, Shiho padded into the kitchen to make some coffee, picking up her notebook on the way. A pity… it would have been so sweet to spend the end of this magical night making love. But what hope was there when two writers got together?

* * *

Nakano Hiro lay on his bed, absently smoking a cigarette. He had never been much of a smoker or a drinker, moderate in his habits more by nature than design. Perhaps that was why he and Shuichi had clicked almost the moment they had met and had stayed so close ever since – Hiro's calm balanced Shuichi's hyperactivity; but Shuichi's adventurous spirit and irrepressible optimism also shook Hiro from a sort of obedient passivity which might otherwise have pushed him in to a medical career he had no heart for.

This had been a good night. It had also been one full of surprises; the biggest surprise of all the fact that it had even happened. Yuki Eiri really was the most contradictory man alive. No wonder poor Shuichi never knew where he was with him – Hiro had seriously begun to wonder if Yuki even knew where he was with himself.

Had Hiro been in Shuichi's shoes, he could not have put up with it. But Shuichi wanted Yuki – possibly for reasons even he himself didn't understand. He could see something in that apparently cold-hearted man that Hiro had only caught a glimpse of once in awhile. And when Shuichi wanted something…

Tonight would have been good even if the party had been crap, just for the excitement and the happiness in Shuichi's eyes as Hiro had helped him get ready. As it was, the party hadn't been crap, for all that Hiro had never seen himself as the type to attend cocktail parties and make small talk. That Mizuki Kana was kind of cute and she obviously had Yuki's number – Hiro had been rather relieved on Shuichi's behalf to see no evidence of anything going on between the writer and the editor. Ono Fujiko had been a bit frightening, but nothing Hiro couldn't handle. And singing with Shuichi - just the two of them with Hiro's guitar - had been terrific.

Perhaps, he reflected as he leaned over and crushed out his cigarette into an ashtray lying beside the bed, it was just as well Yuki had phoned when he had – Hiro could hardly believe how close he had come to telling Shuichi about Ayaka.

A deep, weary sigh escaped him as he thought about that. It was ridiculous – he was like some stupid schoolboy with a crush. He had to put her out of his thoughts. Even if she no longer loved Yuki – which was surely unlikely, even if she had given him up to Shuichi and insisted that all she wanted was to see her fiancée happy at last – there was no reason to believe she even thought about Hiro, except perhaps as a friend.

He had called her once or twice; ostensibly just to see she was all right. She hadn't seemed to mind, but she had never suggested she would be coming up to Tokyo again and Hiro could not think of a good enough excuse for inviting her.

Besides, they were from different worlds; she was hardly the type of girl he usually went for and he doubted a long-haired rock guitarist was much compensation for a rich, handsome, successful writer from a similar background to her own, even if Yuki Eiri was also a misanthropic womaniser who apparently liked boys too. Yuki had could be charming and courteous – he _had _been tonight. If that was the only side to him that Ayaka had ever seen, what chance did Hiro have?

And yet he still couldn't stop thinking about her! Her pretty face and sweet smile; her delicate, graceful manners; her persistent sense of innocence mixed with a fiery determination that had brought her alone all the way from Kyoto to Tokyo – and an unflinching realism which had made her give up the man she loved when she saw they would never be happy together.

She just wasn't like any girl he'd ever met…

_Idiot,_ Hiro thought with a soft grunt of laughter. _You're just as bad as Shuichi. And you're supposed to be the sensible one!_

He supposed he should get up and take a shower and have some tea or something and then try to get some sleep. But he didn't feel like moving. So he lay where he was and began to sing the words of _The Rage Beat, _just as he and Shuichi had sung it at Mizuki's party; and as he did so he let himself dream about Usami Ayaka just a little bit longer.

* * *

"Yuki…?"

As he heard that tone in Shuichi's voice, Eiri considered feigning sleep, but then he remembered that his being unconscious wouldn't stop Shuichi talking, and pretending to be dead would probably only slow him down for a while.

"Yeah…?"

"Um… I was all right tonight, wasn't I?"

Eiri exhaled heavily and propped himself up on one elbow, gazing through the shadows at the boy watching him so expectantly. So the euphoria had finally worn off – on the drive home, Shuichi could talk of nothing but how totally cool everything was and what a great performance he and Hiro had given. Now he sounded genuinely uncertain.

"You were fine," Eiri answered simply. Then he startled himself by adding, "actually, you were…charming."

He winced as he heard Shuichi gasp, readying himself for the inevitable onslaught of kisses and embraces and declarations of love. But Shuichi remained quite still.

"You really think so?" he heard him whisper at last.

"Weirdly enough… yes."

Shuichi shifted a little closer. "Yuki…"

"…Yeah…?"

"How does it end? Your story, I mean."

Eiri sighed. He wasn't sure he wanted to think about this again, and he greatly doubted Shuichi would care for the ending he had worked out. "After years of making each other miserable, they finally reach a sort of… compromise." _Not unlike the one I had planned for us,_ he silently admitted, _though I'm beginning to wonder if that's such a good ending after all… _"It's too late for them to start again, but at least they stop hurting each other."

"I don't think I like that ending very much," Shuichi replied thoughtfully, "it's kind of depressing…"

Eiri felt a quick, sharp jab of anger. Just who the hell was this ignorant little brat to offer an opinion on the work of a serious writer? But then he remembered a night in the park not all that long ago when he had made a harmless boy cry with an unsolicited and unnecessarily harsh critique of his lyrics, and he held his tongue.

Besides, there was the fact that, rather annoyingly, another ending had begun to suggest itself as he had watched Shuichi and Nakano perform. An ending where the unhappy couple finally confronted each other, learning the truth through mutual accusations of treachery and faithlessness and purging the malign spirit of the dead brother at last. All that he had been these last six years rebelled against such a rebirth of hope for his characters – yet there was something incredibly cathartic in such an ending, after the suffocating atmosphere of unbroken tension running through the story… and it would make for one terrifically dramatic scene…

"I guess I'm not very good with compromises," Shuichi suddenly went on with an uncharacteristic note of sorrow in his voice, "whatever I want, I want it completely… you know?"

Oh yes. Eiri knew. Only too well. But after tonight he was beginning to think he wasn't so good at them either. This evening had surely proved he was no better than Shuichi at letting go.

For six years he had done everything he could to stay in control of every aspect of his life. But there was another answer. He could just… go with the flow… and see where it took him…

_A__nd may heaven help us both, _he thought with a sigh.

But then he looked down into Shuichi's troubled gaze and could not help smiling at him, stroking the hair back from his face with soothing fingers. _Sushi bar or no sushi bar, I was proud of you this evening,_ he silently admitted to him,_ and I'm glad you're here with me tonight._

He couldn't say it – not aloud. So he leaned over and kissed Shuichi's lips.

At once, strong, slender arms slid out to embrace him and he felt heat flush across Shuichi's body in sympathy with his own. There was no aggression in Eiri this time – the sexual tension which had built up during the party had been diffused when they had fallen upon one another as soon as they reached home.

Oh yes, that made for the most unexpected and exquisite torture – watching Shuichi looking so damn _cute _– watching him in his element, being admired; even desired by others and not being able to do a thing about it…

He had never really been in that position with Shuichi before; most of the time they had spent together had been within the privacy of Eiri's flat. Except for that first night, when he had left Shuichi's concert and waited for the boy to follow him home, as he had known he would, he had had Shuichi whenever and however he wanted him. He had thought that was enough – more to the point, he had thought that was all it ever could be like. They couldn't go on "dates" like an ordinary couple, could they?

Tonight had to be a one-off. Surely. And yet… Shuichi was right. Tonight had been… great.

At least Eiri could be fairly sure he was too good at hiding his emotions to have given anything away to the other guests. Even when that blasted Mangaboy insisted on "just one more encore" in return for a signed, limited edition box-set of his latest series and Eiri had fantasised about telling Shuichi his mother was dead just to get him out of the front door.

Now he was warm and sated and all he could manage was the kind of languid and gently playful sex that Shuichi loved but didn't often get.

Eiri would certainly regret all of this in the morning – probably as soon as he woke up and saw Shuichi smiling at him with just a little more love and just a little more possessiveness, and felt him kiss him good-bye as he set off for NG studios with just a slightly stronger sense of confidence.

But tomorrow was tomorrow, and tonight was tonight. And tonight Shindou Shuichi was simply… irresistible.

**THE END**


End file.
